Do Imaginary Pets Have an Odor?

Well evidently they do....according to my kids and the discussion I had the priviledge to overhear yesterday....

So here is a little quiz to see how well you know my oldest 3 children......by name they are Antony (9), Marcia (nearly 8...[it is so important that it is stated that way!]), and Anita (5).

They were discussing their imaginary pets with each other, what they looked like, what they did and finally....how they smelled.  Here is what was said....see if you can match the correct phrase with the right child.....(I will post the answers later tonight or tomorrow morning)

Child #1  :  "Mine smells like it just had a fresh bath and has put on clean clothes."

Child #2  :  "Mine smells like fluffy, white clouds, a field full of pretty flowers and lots of beautiful butterflies!"

Child #3  :  "Mine smells like it just rolled in rotten meat and bad eggs!"

I can't wait to read your answers...and dear sisters of mine who have already taken the phone version of this quiz....please refrain from answering for now!

Deep Dooky!!

I think most of us are familiar with the phrase "in deep dooky".  (I realize that I could use "in deep water" or "in hot water"...but no....for this story 'dooky' seems to express it better for me)  Well, anyway, however you express it.....I have been in it!!

Yesterday, I was told that the man would be here with the vaccine for the chickens by 12noon at the latest.  So about 10 o'clock I took the kids down to mom's house and came back to work at weeding my pumpkin patch, which is located in front of the chicken houses.  That way I would be sure to see the man pull in and could be there and get started right away.  I pulled weeds until it was 11:58...the man still hadn't showed up, so I went to the house to get a drink.  I was in the house for all of 10 minutes then returned....sure enough the man was already there...and was in the houses looking for me.  He was not pleased that I was not immediately present upon his arrival.....

"I've got a schedule to keep, you know!" he stated rather gruffly. "...and I am already running behind."

I nicely informed him that I had gotten very thirsty while I had been waiting for him to arrive for the last hour and a half.  And that I was ready to get at it.

We headed into the first chicken house....hooked up the medicator...mixed the vaccine solution....got everything ready to go.......only to have the medicator quite working after the first 3 pumping tries.   This did not make this elderly gentleman any happier.  I tried everything I could think of to fix it and get it running again.....to no avail. 

So I called dad.  However, he was on a farm working at crusting out their chicken houses, a good half hour away and could not come.

So then I called Bethany...my sister who also raises chickens.  She was on her way home from somewhere, but said she would stop by her house, pick up another medicator and be over as soon as she could.  BLESS HER!!  I had started to feel worried about what I was going to do....and when she said she could bring it, I felt a great feeling of relief.

I told the elderly gentleman the plans...he just grunted and said, "Well, let's see if the other house actually has a working medicator."

We went in and started the process....only to find that 2 of the water lines had something blocking drainage spouts...so that the unmedicated water couldn't be run out of the lines.......(groan)....I messed with them for a bit and finally just took the stand tubes out and let them drain that way.   The elderly man just worked along beside me in an uncomfortable silent manner.

We finished up that house.  Then went out to wait for my sister.  I sat on an over-turned bucket, while the man paced up and down and around his truck...muttering under his breath the whole time.

I tried apologizing once again, stating that the medicator really had been working earlier that morning. 

He let out a big sigh and his shoulders sagged.  "I know it isn't your fault." he said in a much kinder voice. "These medicators just do this without warning.  I just had a rough night without much sleep and it has been a very hard morning with trouble around every turn."  He then plopped down on the bumper of his truck in a much calmer state-of-being.

I tried for the life of me, to think of something nice, clever or cheery to say to make him happier, but could not think of ANYTHING.  Luckily, my sister chose that moment to pull in the drive.

We quickly made our way into the other chicken house and shortly had things up and ready to go.  I quickly grabbed two buckets and made my way to the end of the water lines so I could drain them and let the water with the vaccine mixed in fill the lines.  I wanted to get this job done, so this poor, old man could get on his way and maybe his day would improve....besides, my kids had a doctor appointment that we had to leave for at 2pm and it was nearly 1o'clock by now.

I filled both the 5 gallon buckets with water and then went to take them and dump them out the door.  Now, the closest way to the door would have been to step over the feed line and walk in a straight line for the doorway....which is what most people would do if they were carrying two heavy buckets of water.  I, however, not being "most people" took into consideration my lack of good balance on occasion......well....now let's be completely honest here....took into consideration my clumsiness and lack of grace when stepping over things....I nearly always stub my toe, or catch my foot on things and at this particular moment could just see myself tripping over that feed line and spilling water all over the chicken house floor.  So, not wanting to make that kind of mess or find myself in that close proximity to the floor.....I chose to walk all the way around the end of the feed line instead.

Now for those of you who are not familiar with commercial chicken houses and their floors....let me explain to you what they consist of.  A chicken house floor is just hard, bare ground with about 4-6 inches of chicken litter on top of it in most houses.  Chicken litter is, in most cases is sawdust which, over the years has lots of feathers, and bits of dried chicken poop mixed in it.  Most of the poop is scraped off the top after each flock of chickens but some always remains and gets worked down into the litter.  Now our chicken house don't have the normal 4-6 inches of this.....they have 12 inches and even in some places more.  (I know, all you chicken farmers out there....we plan to cut it down as soon as this flock goes out....)  It really doesn't stink too much unless it gets wet, then it can be a very slippery, ugly, stinky mess.....hence the reason I didn't want to spill the water....or find myself lay flat out on my stomach in it.  It just isn't very sanitary.

Well, back to the story.....now a few weeks ago a water pipe that runs under the chicken house floor, about 2 feet down into the ground had sprung a leak.  Oscar had dug it up, fixed the leak and shoveled the hole full again with a mix of dirt and chicken litter.  It has taken a while to dry out, but this week has been much better....we can walk over that area and it just feels a little spongy....as long as you don't stand there too long or jump up and down on that area....I could walk over it in my flipflops and not sink in enough to have my feet touch the crusty stuff on top.  So that is what I did now.....with 2 full 5 gallon buckets of water.  (that spot is at the end of this particular feed line.)

When I took that first step onto this area....I felt my foot sink in enough that the stuff was starting to touch my feet even though the sole of my flipflops was an inch thick...so I thought I should walk faster so I wouldn't sink in so much....I quickly set my other foot in front of me and shifted my weight to that foot so I could pull the other one free of the muck that was starting to feel icky.  BIG MISTAKE!!!  That foot sunk in to my midcalf region!  Soft, gushy, muddy, nasty chicken litter covered over my flipflop, my foot and up my calf!  Feeling my foot slowly sinking in further, I quickly swung my free foot forward to find a firmer footing and started to pull my other leg out of it's nasty wallow...the whole time keeping my toes squeezed tightly to the flipflop strap so I wouldn't loose my flipflop.....(they were pretty new yet and even though I just use them for the farm....I didn't really want to buy a new pair....and I knew that if it came off and I lost it in that mess, there was NO WAY I was going to stick my hand down in there and look for it!)  Well, just as I had worked my leg free almost to my ankle my other leg broke through.....and since my weight and the weight of the buckets were now on that leg it sank down in just pass my knee...............I spilt the buckets.

About this time....feeling rather stuck and wandering just what to do....trying not to wiggle too much so I wouldn't sink in more....and mourning the lost of a good pedicure that my niece had blessed me with the day before.......the elderly gentleman became aware of my situation.  He rushed toward me, with his eyes bulging from his head......"Honey girl are you okay???!????"  he blurts out.

Now there are moments when I still feel rather hormonal from having the baby and such....but praise God, this wasn't one of those moments or I probably would have cried.  Instead, I cranked my head back so I could look up at him from my shortened position, grinned at him and said...."My! You have gotten a lot taller in the last few minutes!" 

He just stared at me in confusion and disbelief.

"Are you okay?" he asks again.

"Well, I am not hurt, but I do believe that this water pipe that is buried down here has sprung another leak.  Please don't come any closer.....I think I can wallow through this and get out....no need for us both to be down here in this soupy mess."  I squirmed around and finally found better footing and was able to crawl out of the mess.....with both flipflops still on my feet!!!  The elderly man let out a sigh of relief.....then abruptly pulled back with a look of disgust on his face when he got a whiff of the odor that had been released when the crust broke.

The odor was horrid!!!  All those previously discussed ingredients of a chicken house floor had had continual slow soaking with the leaking water pipe.....that when combined with the 80-90 degree temperatures of the chicken house had made for a right foul cooking period to turn that soupy mess into one rancid odor!

That odor now covered a good third of my body and clothing.  I looked at the man, who, by the way, was still staring at me in some sort of shock, and said, "well, I guess I will need more that I quick trip through the shower before heading to the doctor this afternoon."

"Did you want to go take your shower now?" he asked.

"No...I might as well help you finish up here....I still have a bit of time."  We started to work on the next 2 water lines.  About 30 seconds later...I heard a little chuckle....I looked at this old man....he was grinning from ear to ear!!!  "I may have had a rough day, but I wasn't in as much deep dooky as you were!!!" he laughed.  That made me laugh too. "Dear," he said with a smile reaching all the way to his eyes, "would you please do me and my nose a favor and go take your shower!  I will be happy to finish this up...besides your sister went down to the other end and has nearly finished it already."

I decided it was a good idea.....I scrubbed and scrubbed....doused myself liberally with perfume and headed to the doctor's office...nobody said anything, but as I was laying in bed last night, I was sure I could still smell that awful odor just lingering around me.

So now I know what it really feels like to be "in deep dooky"!!!

By the way....I have tried to convince my sisters that it is the latest thing in the way of spa treatments for your feet.....so far I haven't had any takers on my offers to let them try it out!!